Wynford Ellis Owrn
What’s it all about? / Beth yw pwrpas hyn oll?
What does sobriety mean?
When I stopped drinking I was what you would describe as being abstinent. But I wanted to be sober. What does being ‘sober’ mean?
It means letting go of all the other attachments in my life as well.
But what’s so wrong with having attachments in my life? Because wherever there is an attachment it tends to define who or what I am. It also decides how I feel and how I think. I give all my power away to whatever is the attachment - and negative consequences then always ensue.
For example, you could argue that there’s nothing wrong with drinking alcohol in moderation (although it is toxic to the human body). However, if there’s an attachment to alcohol, we all know how injurious and harmful that can be to body, mind, and soul. Alcohol then decides, controls and dictates how I behave, think and feel.
But what does ‘letting go’ of the attachment mean? It means proving to myself that I can live without the attachment in my life - attachments to having to have people’s approval and validation; to my parents’ critical voice in my head; to the fear of financial insecurity; to having to be perfect in every way; to fame; to food; to the fear of failure; to being anxious; to religion; politics; sex; gambling; etc, etc., to work; and to ‘black & white’ / ‘all or nothing’ thinking in particular.
I had to prove to myself that I could life without these attachments in my life. Once I could prove that to myself - that I could live without them - I could then safely engage with them if I wanted to. After all there’s nothing wrong with many of these “things” per se - it’s the attachment to them that does the damage.
Just as I had to find out who or what I was without alcohol in my life, so too I had to find out who or what I was without these other attachments in my life. That’s what it means to be sober!
In other words, it’s a journey of self-discovery - of finding out who I really, really am at source. Who or what is doing the living and the dying in my name - when no-thing, nothing, defines who or what I am.
That’s the journey to sobriety. As you can imagine - it ain’t for the faint hearted! X